I hate it when it’s sunny and hot and I have to hide scars

wo-nderstruck:

I shouldn’t be thinking of you, but I am. I shouldn’t want to be with you, but I do. I should be happy for you, but I’m selfish so I’m not. I shouldn’t be hung up on the memories, but I am. I shouldn’t let this stop me from moving forward, but it does. I shouldn’t be jealous, but I am. I should be over you, but I’m not.

floating on rivers 
floating on clouds 
listen to voices 
hear how they shout 

cant get those voices out of my head 
wake up with them go to bed 

floating through hours 
floating through days 
listen to whispers 
hear what they say 

if i run they are there 
if i hide they are aware 
cut yourself, starve! and dont you dare!.. 

floating through memories 
floating through thoughts 
i do as they say 
they always watch

Why cant I beat torture and slay
every person in my way
make them die a painfull dead
playing soccer with their head
is there something to do instead?

I long for the future
I long for the past
but here and now
I have to last

Happy memories
good things ahead
but for now
there’s sadness instead